If you're a bride-to-be and are just beginning the wedding planning process, you may already be dealing with bruised feelings and misguided expectations from various friends and family members -- whether a childhood friend is feeling snubbed by not being selected as maid of honor or a future mother-in-law is seeing social media photos of you trying on your wedding dress. While your wedding day should primarily be about you and your future spouse's love and commitment to one another, leaving your future in-laws out in the cold during this planning process may harm your ability to forge a strong relationship in the future. Read on for some ways to involve your in-laws in the wedding planning process without turning yourself into a doormat or feeling artificial.
How can you set appropriate boundaries with well-meaning friends and family members?
Establishing clear boundaries at the outset of the planning process -- and enforcing them -- can pay dividends in the form of stronger future relationships. Entering a marriage in which one or both families feels slighted or has uncommunicated hurt feelings can lead to future strife, particularly around the holidays or once children enter the picture. Getting these issues out into the open (and developing a framework to deal with them) will help everyone get started on the right foot.
The boundaries you set are highly individual and are designed to prevent you (and others) from becoming embroiled in a petty argument or other dispute, being subjected to a "guilt trip," or otherwise becoming the victim of passive-aggressive behavior. The most important aspect of developing boundaries is ensuring they're clearly communicated to others. For example, if a relative repeatedly broaches a subject that upsets you, you'll want to tell him or her that you aren't willing to discuss it -- and if he or she persists, exercise this boundary by leaving the room. If you're dealing with relatives who are frequently late to gatherings and often hold up important events with their tardiness, you'll want to ensure they're aware that you plan to start the event on time, regardless of who may be missing.
What are some ways you can involve your in-laws in the planning process?
While healthy boundaries are important in establishing a mutually respectful relationship, helping your future in-laws feel as though their input is valued will also help you earn their trust. You and your future spouse may want to discuss some aspects of wedding planning in which certain relatives may be interested so that you can help select activities they'll enjoy and use to create fond memories.
For example, if your future mother-in-law raised only sons, she may want to spend just one afternoon at a bridal shop helping you try on dresses. A father-in-law who spends his weekends baking goodies for the entire family may be tapped for his cake expertise, or a sister-in-law who won't take no for an answer could become the "point person" for vendor negotiations. Utilizing your future relatives' skills and interests to help make your wedding day as memorable as possible can avoid strife and create the beginnings of a lasting relationship.
For more ideas or to find local bridal shops you can visit with your future mother-in-law, visit websites like http://bridalelegance.us.com/.Share